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The Ups and Downs of Salad Match-Making

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Marisa Kabas

By Marisa Kabas on October 17, 2013


Salad Match is a dating app from the masters behind mediocre chain Just Salad. Though a good salad can be very enjoyable, it’s not necessarily indicative of your compatibility as a mate, and it’s certainly not an aphrodisiac. It’s hard to visualize the makings of a Salad Match, so The Toast imagined how it might go down.

A glowing testimonial:

“I knew I wanted a relationship, but I just don’t have time to meet people. But Salad Match was able to make a complete profile for me within minutes, and on my first day, I met my soul mate!” -A Carrot, age unknown.

An awkward salad chat:

Amanda & Nick:
 
“Describe your perfect salad.”
 
“Mixed greens, grilled chicken, feta cheese, kalamata olives…”
 
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you…Greek?”
 
“I…thought you knew.”

And now it’s a family affair:

Keith & Cheryl:
 
“Hey, I saw that you’re from Long Island. What town?”
 
“Jericho.”
 
“Oh, weird. Me too. What street did you grow up on?”
 
“Rose Lane. I still live here.”
 
“…what? Who is this?”
 
“Cheryl Greenberg.”
 
“Ugh, MOM!!!”

Maybe it’s not scientific, but it could be worse.

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