Simon: I think I could be the kind of jellyfish that wears a hat.
Mary: Well …
Simon: I think it would make me look slim.
Mary: I’m not so sure.
Simon: I’d look like one of those Upright Fleshbones.
Mary: You mean humans?
Simon: With my tentacles flowing like clean summer hair.
Mary: Did you go to school?
Simon: I mean, we already sort of look like hats.
Mary: No, we don’t.
Simon: I’m just going to own it.
Mary: As part of your midlife crisis?
Simon: No …
Mary: You are 3 months old.
Simon: I could make one out of a turtle shell!
Mary: Does this have to do with the reunion?
Simon: Or maybe a conch!
Mary: You could get a cane and bow tie, too.
Mary: I was being sarcast—
Simon: I could sing and dance.
Mary: You don’t sing or dance.
Simon: There was a time when Einstein didn’t know math.
Mary: You’ve heard of Einstein—
Simon: A time when Mozart didn’t know music.
Mary: And you couldn’t remember the name for humans?
Simon: And there was a time when I neither sang nor danced.
Mary: That time is still happening.
Simon: That time is over.
Mary: What are you doing?
Simon: I’m dancing!
Mary: You’re just swimming.
Simon: I’m freee!
Mary: You’re getting too close.
Simon: Dance with me, Mary!
Simon: I’m dancing and I’m free!
Mary: Stop it.
Simon: This is amazing!
Mary: Now we’re tangled.
Simon: It’s like we’re holding hands!
Mary: Yeah, except you’re getting us more tangled.
Simon: All I need is that hat!
E.A. Weiss is a writer in New York. Follow him around.
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